the Blog
Welcome! Find insights on building your business, priorities, motherhood, entrepreneurship, time management, joy, vision, magic, and, occasionally, food.
Use the tools, guidance, and real life examples to figure out where you’re heading and navigate a course you love. Even the messy parts.
What cooking rage has to do with your business
Let's talk about cooking rage.
Cooking rage is a real thing. There's a good chance you'll recognize it when I describe it.
I want to talk about it because when I experienced it earlier this week I discovered a striking parallel between what happened to me as I attempted to cook a healthy meal for my family and what happens to me and to so many of my clients and friends who own businesses when we try to do something we believe will help our businesses grow.
Undercommit
A couple of weeks ago someone asked in one of my online communities, "What tips and tricks will you be implementing this summer to stay on track in your business?"
People had all sorts of great answers, ranging from creating marketing plans to setting up systems to automate more of their businesses and lives. I knew I could use just about everything they named, but my body rebelled and wouldn't let me declare one more action item or goal for the summer, no matter how big a difference I imagined it would make.
This is what came out instead…
Sometimes the wins aren't pretty
I realized something this week. It turns out that all this time I’ve thought that the “wins” in life, the things worth acknowledging and celebrating, are supposed to be pretty.
I was SO WRONG!!!!
It turns out that some of our biggest wins are hidden in big, messy arguments, somewhere underneath the yelling and the tears. Others are buried in moments of terror, self-doubt and pain. And still more of them are surrounded by everyday frustrations, overwhelm and mess-ups, which is why they’re hard to see, and why it’s hard for so many of us to believe we’ve collected more than a handful of wins throughout our entire lives.
Getting to an Effortless "No"
Yesterday I got an email from someone who wanted something from me that I didn’t want to give. She wanted my time.
I have become more and more fiercely protective of my time over the years, but apparently had not yet mastered the art of the effortless no. The moment I read the email subject and knew what the request was, I felt my stomach clench — first because I didn’t want to give time to this particular conversation and second because I knew that I probably would anyway.
This was a bad idea...
WHY do I sometimes think that something is such a good idea, and then it turns out to be such a bad idea but I keep going anyway, like if I can just force myself through it it will be totally worth it? This is what just happened to me, and some ways it might help you when your own brilliant ideas have you banging your head against the wall...
Thinking vs. Doing, Part I
I’ve thought about it and have concluded that I spend more time in my head than doing stuff. And that might be a problem.
If you’ve noticed that exciting ideas explode into your mind, and that you even get so far as to map out how to make those visions real, and then you don’t actually implement any of those steps, or you get started and then abandon ship, then this is a problem for you too…
Be Your Own Damn Wonder Woman
Just a quick heads up--YOU ARE ALREADY OF VALUE. Full stop. End of sentence. No qualifiers.
You do not have to be more productive.
You do not have to earn more money.
You do not have to lose weight.
You do not have to be a better parent.
You do not have to write your book, organize your house or launch your business.
There is NOTHING you have to do right now in order to be a valuable, worthy human being. You do not have to earn your place in this world.
What to Do When Life's Not Perfect
So I posted this on Facebook today in response to my own minor meltdown, and had a feeling it was hitting a chord. I wanted to share it with you, in case you ever find yourself wondering, "How the hell do people get everything done??" or "Why isn't my life/business as perfect as that person's over there??" or "There's a chance that I might be failing at everything. Am I the only one who feels that way?"
Enjoy : ) ...
A Special Message from the Salmon and the Onion
Just to clear up the subject line real quick--the Salmon is the Vision card (or Spirit Animal) I pulled for you guys, my JOYbirds, for this coming year, and the Onion is, um, me...
Your New Go-To Response for Vision Panic
If you've got a Vision, you've almost certainly experienced Vision Panic at some point (and more likely at multiple points). Vision Panic is typically some combination of overwhelm, paralysis, freaking out, crying, deciding to quit, getting angry at innocent bystanders, and attempting to tackle every challenge at once with a momentary burst of superhuman focus and energy that's quickly followed by exhaustion and collapse. The good news is that if you're experiencing anything like this, you're probably climbing one hell of a mountain and birthing one hell of a vision. And, even more good news! I'm going to give you my go-to tool that will help you move through your Vision Panic more painlessly, effectively and quickly, so you can get back to creating...
The Story of Meh, Eh and Good Enough
Once upon a time there were three friends, Meh, Eh and Good Enough. They each longed to do something meaningful with their lives, and had enough gumption to just go ahead and try, and so they set out to change the world. And that's when things got interesting...
The Lessons I Learned from Not Bagging on My Commitment to Do a Live Video
Oh my gosh, I just did something that scared that crap out of me. Last week I was challenged to do my first Facebook Live video, on the theme "The Top 5 Ways Wonder Woman is a Visionary." I was TOTALLY going to bag on it.
And then I didn't. And I'm really, really glad I didn't. Here's why...
Time to make friends with your other hand
Ever gotten really, really excited about something you want to create, something you know will be amazing, will change lives, and which you are exactly the right person to do? And then your rational mind kicks in and reminds you of all the reasons why it's definitely not going to happen?
Yeah, me too.
SO, I want to share with you one of the lessons that has had the biggest impact on the visionaries I work with, that frees them up to pursue their most brazen, most deeply felt dreams.
How to feel amazing when you definitely can't do it all
Nope. I can’t do it. I can’t do it all.
And, while I understand this concept intellectually, somehow every time I have open space in my calendar the cold, hard facts about how long it actually takes to accomplish things start to mist over, and, as if in a dream, I begin to imagine that it actually IS possible to do everything. Right here, right now.
To which I can only say, “HA!”
Hat people are magical. Are you one of them?
I had a conversation yesterday with a client, we'll call her Millicent, who has, not one, but multiple fantastic, creative, transformative, BIG visions, and who seems to be growing in doubt and fear the closer she comes to realizing them. That doesn't surprise me, since the farther we get from our comfort zone and what's known and "safe," the more threatened our ego mind becomes, and the more it starts kicking up the volume on all the reasons why we can't do what we're doing, why it's a terrible idea, and why we're going to fail (and end up on the street, and die, if we're really going to follow this path to its logical conclusion).
Less anxiety + effective action = better. Here's how to do it.
So I’m pretty clear that for 2017 my big mission is to lead women to admit, accept and embrace what’s true for them—and then support them in discovering and expressing their own unique magic. So, that’s pretty fun!
Burn This (or, how change is possible)
Ever try to do something that seems like a really smart idea, an idea that will save you time and/or money and/or energy? And then it totally blows up in your face and ends up costing you MORE time and/or money and/or energy than it would have if you'd done it the regular way in the first place?
An Open Letter to My Ego
In the spirit of gratitude to all of the people who have shared their vulnerable moments over the years, and helped me feel less alone and more hopeful in so many areas of my life, I am sharing with you what spilled out of me in a moment (a long moment) of fear and shame and sadness. This is the exchange I had with my ego last week. I hope you find in it something of value to help you through any downward-spiraling moments of your own, if you ever happen to have any...
Insert Your Favorite Curse Word Here
Been hitting a wall?
If so, you're not alone. According to The Power Path's monthly forecast, the theme of July is "Growing Pains." If my life, or the lives of pretty much all of my clients, are any indication, these shamans have it dead straight:
The Long Run.
So a month ago, at 11:30 on a Tuesday night, I suddenly became possessed by the idea that I had to join a gym. (For those of you who know me, "join a gym" was not even close to the phrase you would have expected to follow the words, "I had to." Even I was shocked by the overwhelming pull I was feeling to do this.)