the Blog
Welcome! Find insights on building your business, priorities, motherhood, entrepreneurship, time management, joy, vision, magic, and, occasionally, food.
Use the tools, guidance, and real life examples to figure out where you’re heading and navigate a course you love. Even the messy parts.
Just Leave Enough Time for the Tantrum
A wonderful lesson in time management, via several wildly stressful several days with my teenager.
To help my oldest kiddo navigate some of the things that come with being a fourteen-year-old at this particular moment in time, we have been encouraged to apply the sweat-it-out approach. This means, essentially, 20-30 minutes of strenuous activity a day to help move energy and make him sweat.
Turns out, what worked for him works for my business too.
Ten Words for You
So I've started doing reiki with people and some pretty wild stuff has been happening.
Years ago I took a reiki training because my hands had started getting all tingly and I thought I should learn how to do something with that energy. The training involved classes, a workbook and lots of hand positions that there was no way I was going to remember without practicing a lot--and there was no way I was going to practice that much--so I gave up.
And then few months ago I met someone…
It's Easier the Second Time
[You may not be able to tell from the next few sentences, but I promise—this article really IS for entrepreneurs!]
The kids were on break last week and we took a 300 piece puzzle out of the library (because that's what you can do in my mother-in-law's awesome suburban library!).
My ten year old daughter and I labored together for hours to bring to life a picture of a general store and assorted old-timey bric a brac. We wasted only a minimal amount of time arguing about the best way to tackle a puzzle (finding all the edge pieces and organizing everything by color/pattern—yes; trying to put together random pieces you think might fit and then leaving them semi-attached even when they clearly do not go together—not so much).
What cooking rage has to do with your business
Let's talk about cooking rage.
Cooking rage is a real thing. There's a good chance you'll recognize it when I describe it.
I want to talk about it because when I experienced it earlier this week I discovered a striking parallel between what happened to me as I attempted to cook a healthy meal for my family and what happens to me and to so many of my clients and friends who own businesses when we try to do something we believe will help our businesses grow.
Undercommit
A couple of weeks ago someone asked in one of my online communities, "What tips and tricks will you be implementing this summer to stay on track in your business?"
People had all sorts of great answers, ranging from creating marketing plans to setting up systems to automate more of their businesses and lives. I knew I could use just about everything they named, but my body rebelled and wouldn't let me declare one more action item or goal for the summer, no matter how big a difference I imagined it would make.
This is what came out instead…
Sometimes the wins aren't pretty
I realized something this week. It turns out that all this time I’ve thought that the “wins” in life, the things worth acknowledging and celebrating, are supposed to be pretty.
I was SO WRONG!!!!
It turns out that some of our biggest wins are hidden in big, messy arguments, somewhere underneath the yelling and the tears. Others are buried in moments of terror, self-doubt and pain. And still more of them are surrounded by everyday frustrations, overwhelm and mess-ups, which is why they’re hard to see, and why it’s hard for so many of us to believe we’ve collected more than a handful of wins throughout our entire lives.
Getting to an Effortless "No"
Yesterday I got an email from someone who wanted something from me that I didn’t want to give. She wanted my time.
I have become more and more fiercely protective of my time over the years, but apparently had not yet mastered the art of the effortless no. The moment I read the email subject and knew what the request was, I felt my stomach clench — first because I didn’t want to give time to this particular conversation and second because I knew that I probably would anyway.
This was a bad idea...
WHY do I sometimes think that something is such a good idea, and then it turns out to be such a bad idea but I keep going anyway, like if I can just force myself through it it will be totally worth it? This is what just happened to me, and some ways it might help you when your own brilliant ideas have you banging your head against the wall...
Thinking vs. Doing, Part I
I’ve thought about it and have concluded that I spend more time in my head than doing stuff. And that might be a problem.
If you’ve noticed that exciting ideas explode into your mind, and that you even get so far as to map out how to make those visions real, and then you don’t actually implement any of those steps, or you get started and then abandon ship, then this is a problem for you too…
The Choose Joy Plan
People (smart people) have been telling me for a while to trust myself, to do what brings me joy, and to trust that the Universe has got my back. And to the intellectual, rational, socially constructed part of me THIS SOUNDS INSANE.
Are you telling me I can build a thriving business and life just by watching movies and eating chocolate all day?? That I can spend my time playing with my kids (who, in this fantasy, are never cranky and always want to play with me) and reading my YA novels and getting massages while money magically appears in my bank account and the laundry miraculously folds itself??
Um, no. But getting all snarky about it is a fantastic way for me to NOT LISTEN to what these people are really saying. On the other hand…
Do this now if you're both excited AND nauseous about your resolutions...
I'm literally spending this last day of 2017 flopping back and forth between absolute conviction that 2018 IS THE YEAR I finally nail those goals that have been accumulating for years and absolutely rolling-my-eyes that I would even entertain such a thought.
If you too have a complicated relationship with New Years resolutions, I invite you join me in an experiment for 2018: Aim low.
Be Your Own Damn Wonder Woman
Just a quick heads up--YOU ARE ALREADY OF VALUE. Full stop. End of sentence. No qualifiers.
You do not have to be more productive.
You do not have to earn more money.
You do not have to lose weight.
You do not have to be a better parent.
You do not have to write your book, organize your house or launch your business.
There is NOTHING you have to do right now in order to be a valuable, worthy human being. You do not have to earn your place in this world.
What to Do When Life's Not Perfect
So I posted this on Facebook today in response to my own minor meltdown, and had a feeling it was hitting a chord. I wanted to share it with you, in case you ever find yourself wondering, "How the hell do people get everything done??" or "Why isn't my life/business as perfect as that person's over there??" or "There's a chance that I might be failing at everything. Am I the only one who feels that way?"
Enjoy : ) ...
A Special Message from the Salmon and the Onion
Just to clear up the subject line real quick--the Salmon is the Vision card (or Spirit Animal) I pulled for you guys, my JOYbirds, for this coming year, and the Onion is, um, me...
Your New Go-To Response for Vision Panic
If you've got a Vision, you've almost certainly experienced Vision Panic at some point (and more likely at multiple points). Vision Panic is typically some combination of overwhelm, paralysis, freaking out, crying, deciding to quit, getting angry at innocent bystanders, and attempting to tackle every challenge at once with a momentary burst of superhuman focus and energy that's quickly followed by exhaustion and collapse. The good news is that if you're experiencing anything like this, you're probably climbing one hell of a mountain and birthing one hell of a vision. And, even more good news! I'm going to give you my go-to tool that will help you move through your Vision Panic more painlessly, effectively and quickly, so you can get back to creating...
Crib These Tools from Moana, Rock Your Visionary's Journey
I bet you never thought Moana could teach you SO MUCH about what it takes to be a Visionary. I was pretty surprised too! But since I've been doing a weekly video (OK, it's been two weeks, but that still counts as weekly) about exploring The Visionary's Journey through the movies, I've been pretty amazed by the lessons you can uncover in some pretty unusual places.
Below I break down the Top 5 Ways Moana Is a Visionary (+ some give you tools you can crib so you can rock your own Visionary's Journey)...
The Story of Meh, Eh and Good Enough
Once upon a time there were three friends, Meh, Eh and Good Enough. They each longed to do something meaningful with their lives, and had enough gumption to just go ahead and try, and so they set out to change the world. And that's when things got interesting...
The Lessons I Learned from Not Bagging on My Commitment to Do a Live Video
Oh my gosh, I just did something that scared that crap out of me. Last week I was challenged to do my first Facebook Live video, on the theme "The Top 5 Ways Wonder Woman is a Visionary." I was TOTALLY going to bag on it.
And then I didn't. And I'm really, really glad I didn't. Here's why...
Time to make friends with your other hand
Ever gotten really, really excited about something you want to create, something you know will be amazing, will change lives, and which you are exactly the right person to do? And then your rational mind kicks in and reminds you of all the reasons why it's definitely not going to happen?
Yeah, me too.
SO, I want to share with you one of the lessons that has had the biggest impact on the visionaries I work with, that frees them up to pursue their most brazen, most deeply felt dreams.
How to feel amazing when you definitely can't do it all
Nope. I can’t do it. I can’t do it all.
And, while I understand this concept intellectually, somehow every time I have open space in my calendar the cold, hard facts about how long it actually takes to accomplish things start to mist over, and, as if in a dream, I begin to imagine that it actually IS possible to do everything. Right here, right now.
To which I can only say, “HA!”